Steps You Can Take to Minimize the Impact of a Divorce on Your Children
Divorce is hard on kids, no matter what you do. Their sense of stability and security can be greatly reduced. While you wouldn’t do things to intentionally cause them additional suffering, there are some basic things you can do to make life easier for them during and after the transition.
Avoid Potential Conflict
Whenever your children perceive conflict between you and your ex, it puts them in an extremely difficult position. They want to make both of you happy, and may blame themselves if they can’t.
- Don’t engage in debates or confrontations in front of your children. If you have an issue that you need to discuss or resolve, call your ex on the phone or try to resolve the matter through e-mail.
- Respect boundaries. You don’t live with your ex anymore, so you shouldn’t simply walk in his or her house unannounced.
- Pick your battles. Don’t make everything a point of contention. If you are willing to compromise on small issues, you may start to see compromise from your ex as well.
- Let your ex have the last word. If you stop responding, an argument won’t last
Exercise Basic Common Courtesy
Put yourself in your ex’s shoes and ask what you would like to have. Don’t send your child with the non-custodial parent without adequate clothes, or with clothes that need to be washed. If possible, launder your child’s clothes before you return them to the custodial parent.
If your plans must change, give as much advance notice as you can. If you have to cancel a visit with your child, explain and apologize to them, as well as to your ex.
Be flexible whenever possible—it’s in your child’s best interests.
Let Your Time with Your Child be Your Time with Your Child
Don’t use your time with your child to gather information about the other parent, unless you are trying to confirm rules that you plan to follow. Conversely, when you child is with his or her other parent, don’t call on a regular basis to “see how they are doing.”
Contact the Law Office of Len Conner
At the Law Office of Len Conner, we offer a free initial consultation in all family law matters, including issues relating to divorce. Send us an e-mail or call our office at (972) 445-1500 or 972-445-1500 if you’re in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. Or call us toll free at (877) 613-5800 for an appointment.
